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This is my week in photos. Which is part of collecting my year in photos – yep, one photo a day for the whole of 2012!!! I am doing super at taking all the shots, so far… but I am very behind on the processing and uploading which is leaving me a little stressed :(  But trying to remember that I am doing this for me, because it is fun… and it is! And I am learning so much, as this project continues to push me to see more, see deeper, see differently…

Here is week 17

Day 116

My lovely new duds, sent over from auntie Izzy who bought them especially in India :D

The beautiful baby-E making another guest appearance:

day 117

This photo so does not do justice to this lovely mother-daughter pair of fun friends:

day 118

taking out the trash. Finally mommy lets me do some big girl chores!

day 119

practicing my kung fu moves at the dojo. She doesn’t actually do martial arts but her daddy does so any chance she can she likes to play ninja, too!

day 120

flying:

‘… and then the teddy took a rocket and flew to the moon… or was it a really big crane?’

That rare thing, a mother-daughter portrait. So rare indeed that I am totally willing to overlook the fish -I’m-in-the-middle-of-talking face I’ve got going on here. It is still cute. This was at a lovely picnic with some lovely friends :)

Day 121

Through the leaves:

Day 122

Pooped and ready for a nap.

I’ve started keeping a record of some of my fave Nica quotes to add into these photo-posts. This day she said: “I want to go to Andy Z’s house and knock on his door and say ‘surprise’ ” [Andy Z is a local children's musician who Nica loves and has been 'chanelling'/prettending to be for several weeks now - since she stopped being Old MacDonald. The transition was seemless]. I calmly explained that we couldn’t do that. That is called ‘stalking’.

***

Are you up for a challenge? One that will take something from you every day, but give a whole lot back too? How about joining me for the photography challenge in 2012 then? A photo a day of whatever your day involved. You can jump in any time through the year!

If you’d still like to join us, you can start at any time, just sign up here and our host will email you further information.

Without further ado, here is the current list of all participants for Mamatography 2012 so far!

The challenge? A photo a day for one year. Here is week 16:

Day 109

day 110

beautiful friends:

day 111

Outside Wholefoods… Nica actually started crying when I said it was time to go inside. I asked why. She said she was sad about leaving the flowers because she loves them. Needless to say we went back!

a tender moment between friends:

At WholeFoods… I was actually asked to stop taking photos. ”Why?” I asked. “Because you might work at Trader Joe’s” they said (with a straight face) – hah the (almost) perfect cover for industrial espionage, apparently: bring a toddler and get them to try on hats!

day 112

painting with trucks:

diving into cake:

day 114

day 115

on the secret path:

***

Are you up for a challenge? One that will take something from you every day, but give a whole lot back too? How about joining me for the photography challenge in 2012 then? A photo a day of whatever your day involved. You can jump in any time through the year!

If you’d still like to join us, you can start at any time, just sign up here and our host will email you further information.

Without further ado, here is the current list of all participants for Mamatography 2012 so far!

New look

Check out my blog’s new banner and twist on the name. What do you think – an improvement? :)

Also, if you haven’t yet, come join our community on facebook for a lot more inspiration, exchange and community support: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Loving-Earth-Mama/208544985825038#

Loving thanks for staying with us, reading, commenting and generally being an awesome like-spirited community,

Gauri

Dr. Howard Vogel, Third From Left, Is Assisted...

“Recent studies reaffirm earlier World Health Organization recommendations about optimal cesarean section rates. The best outcomes for mothers and babies appear to occur with cesarean section rates of 5% to 10%. Rates above 15% seem to do more harm than good (Althabe and Belizan 2006).

The national U.S. cesarean section rate was 4.5% and near this optimal range in 1965 when it was first measured (Taffel et al. 1987). In more recent years, large groups of healthy, low-risk American women who have received care that enhanced their bodies’ innate capacity for giving birth have achieved 4% cesarean section rates and good overall birth outcomes (Johnson and Daviss 2005, Rooks et al. 1989). However, the national cesarean section rate is much higher and has been increasing steadily for more than a decade. With the 2007 rate at 31.8%, about one mother in three now gives birth by cesarean section, a record level for the United States.”  ChildbirthConnection.org

— — —

One in three births are cesarean?

Okay, so I have shared that my soul is at peace with my cesarean. Spiritually, I can use this experience to learn and grow. I trust that life brings me what I need when I need it.

But I think some clarification may be needed: I am still a great believer in natural birth and continue to think the political and economic pressures (well, I am talking insurance, mostly) as well as well-meaning concern from doctors (who live at the edge of where ‘everything could go wrong’) can sometimes lead to unnecessary interventions – meaning mother and child would have done just fine without them but it made everyone feel better that ‘everything possible’ was done. Yes, there is a place for intervention – but I still believe they should be a very last, break-in-case-of-emergency resort. And stats tell us it is not so. 5 to 10% of women medically need cesareans. 30% of women birthing in the US have cesareans. Shocking, right?

In fact I may be one of the cases where no intervention was *needed* as such and where arguably having the surgery did more harm than good. There was no medical emergency. Baby was breech but otherwise all was well. Labour was progressing. Baby was not distressed. I had even had a cat-scan (after much agonising – as nobody takes an X-ray of their pregnant belly, lightly) that proved my hips were wide enough to birth a breech baby, naturally. Indeed, millions of women have delivered breech babies vaginally, perfectly safely (including my mom – I was a breech footling). There is a slight increase in the risk of complications, yes, but most women birth breech babies just fine. The ONLY reason they stopped my natural birth process (after over 20 hours of labour) and said it was time to go to the OR is because it was 8 o’clock on New Year’s Eve and the only doctor with a specialty that includes vaginal breech deliveries (out of 5, I think, on the whole West Coast – all 5 in this one, fab hospital, UCSF) she was the only one who was even in the area during the hols and she was now off to her own New Year’s Eve party. As I say, I feel at peace with this. I believe God gives us the experience we need, in order to grow. But in purely practical, human terms it is pretty sad that there is only one hospital in the Bay Area (and allegedly in the whole of Western USA – covering, nearly 100,000,000 people) that will even consider doing vaginal breech deliveries, now – which really should be the mother’s choice, wherever possible, in my view. It is crazy that if your labour starts on the ‘wrong’ day, you are automatically scheduled for a cesarean whether it is in your child and your best interest or not. Parties and leave days come first. Not that I begrudge doctors their time off. I think they deserve and NEED it. I just wish there were more qualified doctors assisting this kind of birth so that the schedule could be fully covered!!

Why not use a home midwife, you say? Why, I had one of those. If you remember, I was planning a homebirth but my midwife, lovely as she is, had never taken the lead on supporting a breech delivery and did not feel qualified/experienced to do so on her own, without calling in back-up, and it turns out that was not easy to find. So, here too: please midwives do not neglect this important skill. Make sure you can confidently identify a breech baby in the womb and that you have the experience you need to deliver a breech baby vaginally, please!

Cesareans, as we know, decrease chances of successful breastfeeding – which in linked to all sorts of things from improved immunity, higher IQ and even decreased behavioural problems. Cesareans are major surgeries with risks for the mother – and even if it goes well it takes time and care to heal properly and completely. And cesareans deprive children from the final ‘inoculation’ of good bacteria that other children acquire passing through the birth canal, such that cesarean born children are two to eight times more likely to have allergies, later in life. Natural birth also gives babies a ‘massage’ that stimulates their whole skin and pumps out the lungs – cesarean babies miss out on this and can be born with water in the lungs. Cesareans should never be a given, don’t you agree?

So, yes, modern medicine can be a life-saver, literally. But in this case, it more saved a doctor’s chance of seeing the New Year in, in style. My plea: please train more midwives and OBs in normal, natural, vaginal deliveries of breech babies. Our babies deserve a chance at natural birth and all the health benefits that come with that!

Week 14 (of my 366 project: photo-a-day for a year) started uninspired but picks up half way through  :)

You can tell which photos were taken with my ‘new to me’ iPhone3 versus the ones with my nice Nikon D90.

Day 102

day 103

Nica lined up a bunch of my flower essences:

day 104

JJ and an animal ‘train’

day 105

I found a four leaf clover!!! Never in my life have I found one and this day, by pure coincidence, I just happened to have one leap out of me, from a big clump of grass and clover. There weren’t any others that I could see. The photos are taken by NinjaDad with my direction. The editing and colour studies are by me:

I like this second one so much I may make it my new ‘banner’ at least for facebook and perhaps for here on the blog, too.

day 106

[by NinjaDad... don't ask]

day 107

Playing with Lynne

day 108

Okay, so one day Nica decided she was no longer Nica but, in fact, Old MacDonald. She will come into the living room, look around and say, ‘My farm is messy. I need to clean up all the poop’. And that was it, for two weeks solid every time anybody called her by her name she would politely but firmly correct them and say, ‘no, I am Old MacDonald!’

So, like a good, responsive, unschooling-leaning mom, I promptly arranged a play-date at the local open farm. Here we are with our friends:

sheep

But, one thing backfired, slightly. When we were at the farm, after seeing some nice pigs, turkeys, lambs, goats, horses, etc. Nica asks to see Old MacDonald (for once not referring to herself). When I explained that this was a farm but not the farm that belongs to Old Mac, she (literally) burst into tears. I had never seen that. It appeared to be a new kind of crying – or at least a new reason… Anyway, she really thought we were coming to Old MacDonald’s farm (which, incidentally, I had never promised her or even alluded to, I had just said we were going to a farm). So sad… so we went off to look for some other farmers. I explained I Old Mac works somewhere else, on his own farm (yes, we are preserving the ‘magic’) but there are other farmers working on this farm. Thankfully we found some very nice working farmers, ploughing the land, on this beautiful red tractor – which she was then fascinated with, too.

Animals or no animals, water play is always a winner!

***

Are you up for a challenge? One that will take something from you every day, but give a whole lot back too? How about joining me for the photography challenge in 2012 then? A photo a day of whatever your day involved. You can jump in any time through the year!

If you’d still like to join us, you can start at any time, just sign up here and our host will email you further information.

Without further ado, here is the current list of all participants for Mamatography 2012 so far!

I planned for a homebirth. I got a cesarean. Life gives you the experiences you need, in order to grow – not the experiences you ‘want’, right? What often comes to mind, actually, is that if I had had the natural, water birth I had planned… I might now be the unbearable hippy from hell. I have a propensity toward advice-giving. I try to perform some alchemy on it and channel it into blogging nowadays, ‘cos I think it is a nasty habit… but, oh my, my tongue would be bitten raw had I had that perfect Ina-May-esk, enlightening birthing experience.

As it is, what this whole experience of the unexpected brought me was a lot of humility and a lot of perspective. If I had beautifully breathed out a baby while meditating and listening to whale song, what are the chances that I would have come out of this thinking ‘if I did it anybody can do it, if they put their mind to it’ (with hidden corollaries like ‘they didn’t really want it’ or ‘they chickened out’ or ‘they don’t understand how important this is for the health of their kids’ – cripes!). Well, maybe motherhood would have taught me humility in many other ways. Usually my friends and the myriad of experiences they each go through and share with me, (eventually) teach me to see the ‘other’ point of view. This time, though, I don’t need to try and put myself in anybody’s shoes. The life learning was served up fresh, just for me.

And it worked, as I mentioned before, I think this journey from planned homebirth to OR  helped me open my heart to mainstream medicine a little more. I really did delight in the miracle of the triumphant arrival of my gorgeous daughter and all else paled into the background. Whoever helped was, in my eyes, an Earth-angel. You see, I am a natural health fan, all the way, this was my first exception, really, apart from dentistry but I found my peace with it, remarkably quickly, considering. Even my parents were surprised. I mean, really, only herbs and food as medicine for me – ever.  You have to be or know a hard-core crunchy to really grasp what a big shift this was for me. I had, for example, never taken antibiotics before the cesarean or pain-killers for that matter. And, yet, when the time came, I did what I needed to do to safely bring my child into the world, given the human constraints I was moving within. And it felt divinely ordained that it should be this way, for her, for me.

Obviously I am still processing this on some level, as it is over two years, now, since Nica’s birth and here I am writing about it, again. It came up when we were swapping birth stories among some mama-friends, the other day, and it got me to thinking about how rare and lucky it is to say that I didn’t get the birth I planned, at all, and I am fine with that, even knowing that had it not been New Year’s eve and the fact that the specialists I needed were at NY parties, I most likely would have had that vaginal breech delivery I worked so hard to secure a shot at. I hear all the time how not having the birth you want and in particular not finding acceptance of the birth you did have is strongly correlated with post-partum depression. How lucky am I to have been blessed, early on, with a different outlook on this situation? And how lucky are all my friends that life found a way to make sure I was not too up my own arse over the whole ‘natural birth’ thing to really listen to what is true for them, what they went through, what they were able to accomplish given the circumstances or what they wish could have been… I am lucky and blessed and truly believe we had the perfect birthing experience for us, mother and daughter – if not in the physical sense, at least in the spiritual/life-learning sense. Thank you, Universe.

This week (in my case, actually showcasing photos from early April) crosses a significant milestone for us Mamatographers: day 100!! This is our Easter Week. My energy and creativity were a bit low at the start of the week, but a family Easter fun-day turned that around!

Day 95

day 96

Janitors for Justice. Nica and I were out for a stroll when we ran into this demonstration. She asked what they were doing and I explained it is a protest march, that they just want to be paid a fair wage for the work they do, so they can feed their families and send them to school and keep them healthy… I started crying. Silly? I don’t know, it just got to me, the unfairness of the world that generally the people who work the hardest, most physical, dirty jobs get so little pay and respect.

Also, not to get me started on politics (toooooooo late!…) but I didn’t see a single white face among the janitors asking for equality. They were 99% Latino and 1% African-American. The segregation in this country can be shocking. I love the USA. I LOVE California but the stark contrast between the haves and have-nots and the geographical divide between them, which so often coincides with racial divides, too, is both surprising and saddening to me. All those songs about ‘the other side of the tracks’ – you just reckon it is a figure of speech when you are in Europe, and then you get here and discover it is literal. In so many towns here, you find that one minute you are in a very nice, clean, middle-class neighbourhood and then you keep driving down the same road, cross a block, and find that all the windows are either barred or boarded up. Not that we don’t have bad neighbourhoods in Europe, of course we do. We have poverty, too. But somehow it is a little more dispersed, not so ghettoised – perhaps because the cities are smaller and old and you can’t just add a new wing for new arrivals, so to speak. But also, it seems to me, I was used to more integration in London, for example. We have black, Asian, white and Chinese middle-class communities(among others) integrated, living and working side-by-side. So, it is a little surprising to find it seemingly so stratified, over here. Okay, okay, I am sure there are many exceptions and I know it varies a lot from city to city, too. But I remember noticing, after living here a year or so, that practically the only Latinos I had met since moving here had either been cleaning my car or serving my food.  I know in a couple of generations this will have changed (insh’Allah) but at this point, I am with the janitors, may they find the justice they seek.

day 97

Low inspiration day… shot this technically after midnight but before sleep so I think it still counts :p

day 98

on the way to Easter at the park:

day 99

Easter Sunday – family egg hunt at our local park. For the full photo shoot go here.

day 100 – wooohooo!

Monkey was going for a swing in his ‘car seat’

day 101

***

Are you up for a challenge? One that will take something from you every day, but give a whole lot back too? How about joining me for the photography challenge in 2012 then? A photo a day of whatever your day involved. You can jump in any time through the year!

If you’d still like to join us, you can start at any time, just sign up here and our host will email you further information.

Without further ado, here is the current list of all participants for Mamatography 2012 so far!

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